Silentjealousy-justin

2010-12-07T14:48:00.001+08:00

18 more days!

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2010-11-29T00:20:00.001+08:00

I'm really envy of all the happy couples out there, and my friends who are getting attached one by one. And I wonder, when is it going to be my turn?

2010-11-23T02:53:00.000+08:00

I dont know why, but I feel like crying my heart out. I've been probably bottling too much things up.

Been busy the whole of today. Talked to Shirleen on fb at night and made me feel a little better. Thanks mummy for being there when no one else is (:

oh yeah, and while I was chatting, there was a blackout cos my mum overloaded the fridge again. LOL.

2010-11-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

I need a friend that I can tell all my troubles to. But no one around me seem trustable. I also don't feel like indulging in alcohol like how I used to. Its just a waste of money and doesn't get me drunk to forget all this.
And I think its pathetic to say that I don't know who's my best friend.

Learn to cherish, before its gone for good.

2010-11-21T01:14:00.000+08:00

"When a mute tells a deaf that the blind saw the lame walk on water; thats when I'll forget you."

Just came back from SL camp in the afternoon. On a whole, the camp was great, awesome and fun even though I always hated camps but loved this. I guess each and every one of us have played our role at the camp, and broke the largest butterfly display. Pictures on fb though I'm not inside on most of the group pictures, but that's fine cos its always what happens to the photographer.

I got quite alot of texts when I was back. Some made me smile. But yours did not. Don't always tell me "I love you" or "I'll miss you" when you don't literally mean it. I feel that I haven't been a good friend to you, and everyone else. Though I've never rejected anyone's request for help because "I'm feeling lazy", but who appreciates my effort anyway?

I guess that was our first and last. I feel that I'm starting to lose the feelings for you while we drift apart.

I'll move on.

Dismayed.

2010-11-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

I'm going off for SL Camp from tomorrow till saturday. Don't tell me you'll miss me, its basically lies.

And I probably won't miss you either during that 3 days nor for the next one month that you're gone for.

When I'm nice, you take it for granted and think that I'm not trying my best. But when I ignore you, you'll think that I'm being petty. So nothing just pleases you.

Sigh.. How I just wish someone trustworthy would be here to listen to me now.

I've been lying to myself, I'm a fabulist.

2010-11-17T02:50:00.000+08:00

I feel that I'm not doing enough. But what's the point in the first place? Your attitude towards me seems to have changed so drastically. Probably I was just bringing false hopes upon myself. But I really feel cheated by you.

I do admit that I'm naive to believe you. Its been 3 weeks since I came back from the Cambodia trip. I promised myself that I will not look back at the messages you sent me while I'm there cos they're all lies. I've been living in self denial for the past 3 weeks. Besides lying to myself, what more can I do to make myself feel better?

Maybe we're just not meant to be. Don't tell me you'll miss me. I consider that as the biggest lie you've told me.

I guess I really need someone who I really can trust to pour out my heart to; But there's no one I know that can keep secrets well. None.

2010-11-15T23:47:00.002+08:00

I've been busy AND BLUR today :/ I woke up at like 9.30 today, then I went to reset the alarm to 10.45, and I snoozed the alarm till 11.15. Then I woke up, walked to the toilet, wanted to brush my teeth but swallowed that whole lump of tooth paste -.-

Hmm.. then I went to pass Shirleen my cpu and worked on it till quite late, sorry uh, I was blur. LOL :/

Okay, I'm going to bathe now. I'll probably blog again when I'm in bed later. Byeeeeee.

Life is unfair.

2010-11-11T02:25:00.003+08:00

It hurts me when you ask me for help, I take the effort to complete the task, and there you go off with your unappreciative attitude. All I asked for was just appreciation, not anything perceptible by touch in return. You make me feel that I'm being used by you and you know I seriously hate it.
I told myself I won't help you again, but I can't bring myself to it. I helped you time and again, but you just don't know what I'm looking for in you.

Probably you won't see this, and that's the point of me posting it here; to express my feelings.

I'm disappointed in you.

2010-11-09T03:08:00.003+08:00

Got the motivation from someone to start my blog again, but I guess I'll loose it soon. Shall start my first post with some take aways from the Cambodia trip this year.

Gotta quite some new friends from the trip, and got to know some other people better (cough). Really miss every single moment in Cambodia. From pre-trip to the moment the plane lands in Singapore. I probably won't forget this trip at all even though I have stm.

Had a awesome night in school on 23 Oct/24 Oct. Check-in at the Changi Airport was rather chaotic but we still managed to board the plane on time. Weixuan gave me his window seat for me to take photos -- Thanks! And on board the plane, we kept playing with the "attention seeker" button cos we wanted to disturb the air stewardess.

The hotel was the next big thing. Holy, the first thing I did when I got into the room was I dumped all my stuff and jumped on the bed and started posting about the hotel on fb. Nothing much on the first day. Just sight-seeing (I pronounced this as sex seeing in p4 -.-), indulging in food, shopping for magi mee and mass packing of clothes at night.

2nd day - Went to distribute the boxes of clothes and dry goods to those villagers. Visited an orphanage (PACDOC -- I told you I wouldn't forget a single thing) and the kids were really friendly. Went around with weixuan to take photos while the rest were doing their keychain and photo frames.

Auntie Lilian's birthday celebration too. She treated the whole group of us to Swensens at a mall after the orphanage visit. How nice of her (: / I made a birthday card for her and sent it over at 0100 SGT. And she told me "Thank you dear, thank you very much" with her sleepy face cos I woke her up :/

3rd day - Back to PACDOC and taught the kids english and had some games. Went to some dance center after lunch and had some fun there. Went back to PACDOC after that and continued interaction with the kids there for a few more hours and went off. Kinda sad and some people cried on the bus.

Dinner was at KFC. And all of us was asking for the wireless password while waiting for the food, and someone happened to tell us that the password is "kfc three eight three nine" and we thought it was "kfc3839" but it didn't work. Upon asking the staff, she passed us a piece of paper and it was written "kfc888999" on it :/

4th day - Off to Angkor wat in the morning and afternoon and central market in the evening. Shopping for about an hour; but half of it was spent on bargaining. HAHA. From a 1 for 3 dohla thing to a 4 for 5 dohla. Omg, that's like super awesome and will never happen in Singapore.

Dinner at the buffet restaurant was another fattening experience. I ate until I seriously couldn't eat anymore. And auntie lilian said that it costs USD$25 per person :o

5th day - Checked out from the hotel early in the morning and had breakfast. Left the hotel at 6am for the airport. And there was a pretty stupid delay at the airport because the counter staff couldn't find our seats and the whole checking in process was done totally in a big rush.

Landed in Singapore on time and first piece of good news I received -- I got into 3E2! Aunt fetched me from the airport and bought me to Swensens for lunch.

Hmm.. that's basically about it. Its 3.47am now and I better be off to bed before mum finds out that I'm still awake. Bye!

2010-11-07T15:52:00.001+08:00